A Testament to Audacity
Tuesday, September 1, 2009 at 01:28PM by Jon Gilson
Boston’s Back Bay is surprisingly stable. Row after row of brick homes, built on top of a dirt-filled marsh, every flagstone basement below sea level. Logic would dictate that this early nineteenth-century engineering should have calved into the Atlantic years ago, yet it stands to this day, a testament to the audacity of those who built it.
John and I were driving down Beacon Street, the Back Bay’s main artery and canyon of Victorian-era architecture, when he handed me a manila envelope.
“This is my knee.”
Today marked the first time I’d seen John outside of the walls of CrossFit Boston, where he’d been training for six months. Headed to a Celtics game at the Fleet Center, we were trading the platform for the parquet.
The son of a world-class powerlifter, John looks anything but. Six foot five with limbs to match, he wasn’t built to move weight, yet a childhood of ignoring anthropometry had left him crazy strong. Years without coaching had simultaneously eroded his technique, and we spent months bringing him back to the realm of acceptability.
John’s squat stance was too wide and his depth high, a silent admission to the pain he felt each time he descended. We worked gradually and steadily until he made bottom, pushing his knees out and his hip backward. Now, John squatted correctly, fighting his size for every inch.
I opened the envelope and slid out an x-ray film. Holding it up to the dome light, I saw a blacked out joint, a femur and tibia joined by thin white tentacles and a pile of rubble, the detritus of a destroyed knee.
“This is your knee! Jesus, why didn’t you tell me?”
My brain cycled wildly between disbelief and regret. I’d stood beside John, demanding range of motion, demanding bodyweight back squats, the Space Needle built on a pile of marshmallows. I’d told him to do what no sane man should.
"My ACL is gone, too."
He laughed, and my confusion gave way to understanding.
I hadn’t pushed John down. He’d pushed himself down, stronger with each descent. Even more, he’d pushed against decrepitude, reclaiming range of motion that a weaker man would’ve lost forever, and somehow he’d done it in the face of impossibility, a gravel-filled knee with imperfect muscular support.
Like the men who built the land we were crossing, John had seen an end result that was more important than the obstacles in the way, that something beautiful could be built atop something inhospitable, and now he was reaping the benefits, back squatting three hundred and thirty five pounds at thirty nine years of age.
I wouldn’t pretend that we’re all capable of doing what John did, an assertion that would merely belittle his accomplishment. Nonetheless, I firmly believe that we are capable of more, that we can build something from nothing.
I handed the x-ray back to John.
John overcomes gravity at CrossFit Boston. Picture by Again Faster.
Reader Comments (17)
John's story is inspiring, and it must be even more inspiring to work with him now knowing this knee story. Thanks for sharing it.
As for the Back Bay and water...I only wish the land (including the city planners) had John's strength and resistance. (Storrow Drive after a heavy rain is no fun!)
a great story, a great athlete, a great coach.
reading this makes me really happy.
Thank you John. I'm 57 years old, on April 8, 2009 I got a new knee (ran my old knee to bone on bone) and don't have the God given athlete's body. My squat sucks but I too will get there. I have a lot of desire and your story helps to keep me driving on. Thanks!
I received this from John yesterday, post-publication:
Jon!
I figured that I would send you a some random notes that might help you as you write your article:
My knee has bothered me for as long as I can remember. The first of five surgeries began in eighth grade. It was first diagnosed in fifth grade with osteochondritis dissecans, a.k.a "joint mice". To my understanding at some point during my childhood there was trauma to the joint, but damned if I know when. As a result of the alleged trauma some of the cartilage cells in my knee died and flaked off into the joint space. The body would recognize these cells as "foreign" and add calcium in hopes of stabilizing them. Other pieces of joint cartilage around the original "pothole" then flaked off, sometimes taking an underlying piece of bone with it. About every 10 years my knee fills up with what looks like rocks and gravel which is then surgically cleaned out. This process has continued and become progressively worse throughout my life.
I started doing air-squats to a 20" box for my first 6 weeks. For the next 6 weeks I did air squats to a 14" bench. It took me a full 3 months before I could do a proper air squat below parallel without a box or a bench to save me.
I came to Crossfit knowing that I was due for another surgery. I wasn't going to wait for my knee to "get better". My knee is never going to "get better". I would push my knee as much as hard as I could, and see how it would respond. Honestly, I wasn't hoping for much. On my first day I would have been happy to do an air squat to a 20" box, or do a five minute warmup without feeling like throwing up. A sub 5 minute Fran, a proper squat with 335 lbs., or a 1:27 500m row were beyond any of my expectations.
I had surgery again last March to clean out the loose bodies from my knee. Since then my orthopedic surgeon has told me "You should never squat". I didn't bother to correct him. I am sure that he thinks of a squat as a deep knee bend, and to that point he is correct. I should never do one of those. As far as never squatting, I respectfully disagree.
I know that I have a bad knee with a progressive degenerative process. I know that this will only get worse as I get older. I don't ignore this fact. I've cleaned up my diet considerably (although not perfectly.) I aggressively treat my knee with ice and electric stim when there is any discomfort (which is often). I pay relentless attention to form and biomechanics during all exercises in an effort to strengthen my joints, rather than beat them up. I substitue rowing for running (which, by the way, is no bargain.) On some days I do a strict overhead press instead of a push press. Now I avoid box jumps and any lift with a land involving dynamic impact, such as a split jerk. (I learned this the hard way. After doing split jerks with 245 I aggravated my knee and took a big step back in my rehab. There was no discomfort at the time, but a half hour later I could hardly bend my knee. It was another 2 months before I would see improvement. Lesson learned.)
I could follow the conservative wisdom of some and live a life more sedentary and medicated. I could let knee arthritis lead to cardiovascular deficit, loss of energy, strength, and a general decrease in the magic of life.
-John
Great story! It is amazing what the human body is capable of doing if we just get our mind out of the way. I have always believed that the 6" between our ears will be the difference between the ones that want and the ones that DO! Keep up the great work Jon, John and CrossFit Boston, you are a testament to us all.
John Z;
You are awesome. You are always an inspiration, a wonderful teacher, and a masterful human being. Thank you for being a part of the CrossFit Boston Community. Your presence is treasured.
-Alex "Big Deal" Straus
Jon, great article. As a physical therapist and crossfit trainer, I sometimes wonder which hat to wear. Do I look at the potential athlete that I am about to train and see them with my PT eyes or the eyes of a crossfit trainer? Maybe, I can do both. I have come to the realization that it is not my role to pre-judge the ability, desire or results of any human specimen. But, I do find myself educating my athletes as to the potential risks associated with certain athletic endeavors. I must say, it is a constant battle, fighting between the world of academia and the world of human reality and experience. I am still amazed at the human spirit and what it can accomplish. Who are we to limit the desire of human capacity? Way to go John!
Thank you, Jon and John, for this post and the information in it. I am 62 years old, practiced CrossFit for a year and learned a lot. I was diagnosed with arthritis in my right knee last November and was told no running, rowing, squatting, lunging. I was crushed. I started training with weights and running marathons at 55. I look and feel better than ever and it is hard to give up all of those things that make me feel alive. So I haven't. I love plyometrics and I still incorporate moves into my workouts though not as often. I could have written your last paragraph, maybe not so eloquently. I would only add this, that I intend to live my life to the fullest doing what I love.
Great story, I just had an MRI done yesterday which showed that I have 3 herniated disks...hopefully I can follow in the footsteps and rehab properly and have the same outcome.
Thank you, Jon and John, for a great article and for continuing to be sources of inspration.
Thank you, Jon - another inspirational post.
John's knee sounds a lot like my shoulder. My ex-doctor told me I needed to get a new one and to never bench/press/dip again. That was my last visit to him. My range of motion stinks, but I just finished a workout including 65 HSPU (feet hooked high up on a ladder) and dead-hang pullups. I PR'd on thrusters over the weekend. I still bench/press/dip.
Crossfit and all of its parts - the mind/body/soul of it - increases what John calls the "magic of life." I plan to keep on doing this and sample as much of the magic as I can - and I'm bringing my shoulder with me.
Thanks again, Jon and John.
Tom
wow how high are you jumping in that pic. i saw something like that in the "300" work out
As a 'trainer' and 'coach' how can you justify to yourself not knowing about his knee. You should have asked him before you started training about previous history and injuries. To not do so is at best lazy and at worst potentially deadly. I cannot beleive you posted an admission that you did no checking on his current state of play before getting him to do those exercises.
Whether or not he wanted to do them is irrelevant. My Kids want to eat junk food all the time because mcdonalds tells them to. Is it right? No. As you are the 'trainer' and you know better, you should ensure your clients safety.
Max,
John was directed, as all of my clients are, to be aware of his limitations and to exercise his judgment, which he routinely did, refraining from activities such as running, push pressing, and multi-rep jumping. We knew his knee was damaged; we just hadn't seen pictures.
Your assertion that "whether he wanted to do them (exercises) is irrelevant" couldn't be further from the truth. That he wanted to do them is the only thing that matters, and the only thing that will overcome decrepitude.
We have a very strong individual with a high quality of life and amazing work capacity, that given your perogative, would have been sidelined from any compound movements employing his damaged knee.
Nonetheless, I appreciate your concern for my competence. Given the outcome, it is needless.
Best,
Jon
Way to accentuate negatives in an overwhelmingly positive story, Max.
Great stuff, John and Jon. I take so much away from this site I should start sending you checks, Mr. Gilson.
i've heard nothing but amazing stories about crossfit. i've suffered from chronic back pain since i was 22. a couple surgeries down the road i'm no better, but this story and the others i've heard about crossfit have convinced me give the program a go.
kevin
Kevin,
Awesome! If we can do anything for you, please let us know!
Best,
Jon