Starting Over
Tuesday, May 12, 2009 at 03:53PM by Patrick Cummings
Before you say anything, I know. Before you tell me the obvious answer, don’t. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it. It’s that I’ve been on this train before, and this is the stop I always seem to sleep through, the one I have to catch on the return trip.
It’s 6 a.m. and I’m in Texas. I don’t want to be awake right now, but nobody asked my opinion an hour ago when my eyes opened and my mind flipped on.
I haven’t been sleeping much lately.
This used to happen frequently, years ago, prior to CrossFit finding me. Before I knew what it was or why it was happening. Before I knew I could stop it if I really wanted to. I guess before I really wanted to.
See, though, it’s not the lack of sleep that’s the problem. That’s simply a symptom. A therapist I went to years back called it depression and I took some pills. I called it unavoidable and took to staring blankly at the television set for long hours into late nights.
But, again, that’s before I knew I could stop it.
During the first couple months of this year, I came down with a case of shingles. A little over a month ago, I got unlucky on a clean and pinned my right elbow to my knee, stretching my wrist back under the weight of 210 pounds. A few weeks later, I got lazy at the track and decided I didn’t need to warm up before attempting 200-meter repeats. I felt my left hamstring pop before I made the turn on the first run. Apparently I’m not 18 anymore.
Somewhere between my voluntary rest and self-induced stress over the movie, I stopped getting to the gym. The hamstring healed, but even my evening C2 sprints faded in frequency. The last time I was in the gym was two weeks ago, where I struggled through a one-armed dumbbell version of Jackie.
A couple months back, I was lucky enough to film CrossFit’s first Warrior Transition Certification. I saw young men with no legs deadlift. I saw young men on crutches squat. I witnessed young men in pain push through.
But I hurt my wrist and suddenly everything stops. It’s amazing how easily you can forget what you’ve been taught.
It’s been two weeks since I’ve been in the gym and I’m beginning to remember what I’ve learned these last couple years. I don’t need to know the science behind it. The black box is fine. When I work hard, I feel better. When I feel better, I eat better. When I eat better, I am better. Input, output.
It’s 6 a.m. in Texas, and today I’m starting over.
Patrick Cummings is the Senior Media Producer for Again Faster, and the creative mind behind our best stuff. Check out the site for his upcoming flick, 100 Mile Movie, starring Brian MacKenzie and Carl Borg of CrossFit Endurance.
Reader Comments (10)
i've read this 4 or 5 times now and still don't know which sentence speaks to me the most, only that nearly all of them sound pretty loud. great piece and reminder that while life often gets in the way, there's never a good reason why you can't just start over.
thanks for this, patrick.
It's a little after 1am and this is exactly the type of pick me up I needed to get back to the gym. I've been going through pretty much a carbon copy of the above. Sciatica pain keeping me from working out.
Thanks for the motivation.
-djg
nice, love it
Hey Pat, I can relate. I just popped my shoulder out last night sliding headfirst. This is 7 years after surgery to fix a prior dislocation. It has taken a lot of strength to just focus on looking ahead and how I have to work hard to come back stronger. It's easy to get discouraged but that's not going to fix anything and it's certainly not going to get me back doing handstands any quicker! Good Luck.
Amazing article, puts a few things into perspective for me. Go crush those goals.
I hear ya Pat!
Last night was my first time back in the gym in 2 weeks. Lack of sleep, depression and stress kept me on a low energy repeat cycle. I started wondering why I was experiencing these things. Of course the first thing I thought of was Jon Gilson calling me a Purple Unicorn or something like that. I cleared my schedule and went into the gym after work.
I had a huge smile by the time I crawled into bed.
We all need to be reminded that we can start over.
Thank you for that Pat.
I can't wait to see the movie.
Jon,
I did the exact same thing to my wrist two months ago. I put off seeing a doctor about it because I wanted to compete in the Socal CF qualifiers first. Now thats over I am seeing a specialist and hopefully it will be healed by laying off it for awhile. It only bothers me when I bend it back in a position like the rack or in thrusters.
Want to know what happened to you and what you have done to heal it.
Thanks for any and all info. Also your instruction at the Level 1 cert at the Ranch was insane. You know your shit bro.
You inspired me so much I opened up my own affiliate.
Thanks again.
Very inspiring. I would definitely support your decision. Starting OVER is okay. Stopping is not. Sometimes you get so far behind that if you don't start over you feel like you never get caught up. Starting over supplies you with a blank state and a clear peace of mind.
As someone who is often injured (if there is a way, I'll find it), I know how easy it is to fall behind. You say you just need a couple day's to recover, then life gets in the way, then you feel stressed because you haven't been to the gym and because you feel guilty about it... and the cycle continues.
People may tell you not to do this, but I'd support it. Good luck!
Hang in there brah. You've got the right idea. Lessons learned the hard way are priceless. Lessons ignored are just that and make you that.... ignorant. With all growth comes Pain. You can't hide from it or take a shortcut. Pain is a great teacher.
Patrik, I think I love you.
Thank you for a concise and oh so wise article. I'm struggling also with difficulties when I'm not exercising, and to know the science behind it all doesn't help. It's all about input an output.